Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Arrrgghhhh!!! Technology!!!!

As many of you know, I am pretty technologically illiterate. Anything involving technology that I manage to get right is pretty much a fluke and is totally unrepeatable. When I used to work in an office I used to call tech support (and later the guy working in one of the offices downstairs) to get them to tell me how to turn my computer on! I often fight the computer, and more often than not the computer beats me and I end up in tears. :o( Poor me.

That said, I'm sure you will understand my frustraion at the fact that my blogroll has disappeared. Yesterday I decided to be brave and to experiment a little, (yes, I did have my crazy fun hat on at the time) so I went to and decided to sign up and give this crazy blogrolling thing a go. (Whoa!!! I can't contain the excitement!!)

After a few stops and starts I finally worked the damn thing out and managed to fit it nicely into my blog and all was peachy keen... until I logged on just now of course. When I came to check my beautiful blog this evening I noticed that my blogroll was missing and I can't get on to the website that supports it! I don't know what's going on!! Crazy technology = Crazy me!!!

Every computer needs one of these to deal with just these situations.

11pm - ADDENDUM - And now it's all back!! I just can't work out this technology business, and this blogroll thing is more on and off than my ex-boyfriend was! Crazy technology!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I put my green card in my right shoe. Something something, right shoe.

I am constantly being annoyed by that stupid brum brumming frog thing that appears to have become all the rage with mobile users who are either blind and deaf or entirely daft. I can't see how any competent and intelligent person can tolerate such an intensely annoying, ugly and repetitive character. Really, to call it a frog is an insult to all frogs around the world. It's an insult to Freddo and Kermit and the Frog Prince and all their kin.

I sent the picture below out to a few friends the other week, and I still find that it adequately describes my sentiments towards the inane creature. I would pay to see that!

I had a most interesting evening at work last night with a former London cabbie, who was in his late 50's - early 60's, trying to chat me up and filling my evening with some rather obscene (and obvious) sexual innuendo.

For example: Me (handing him the thermometer): "Put this under your tongue." Him (taking the thermometer): Shouldn't I be saying that to you?

Or: Him (checking my hands for any sign of a wedding ring): You can be mine tonight. I'll put you in my room and lock the door and you can stay with me... Because I'll need extra nursing care. (wink wink)

I have no problem with a little sexual innuendo interspersed with witty banter (as anyone who knows me will attest to). However, when it's coming from a guy who is old enough to be my father and who is my patient it's just not quite kosher. I came home feeling dirty, and not in a good way. :o( Stupid icky people. Rasberries to them!!! *Throws in a trumphant HA HA! just for good measure.*

Monday, August 29, 2005

Stupid Arsehole Spammers!!!

Thanks to arsehole spammers leaving crap comments on my blog I have now turned on the word verification option to stop them.

I got so excitied thinking that 15 people loved me, and then when I checked my comments half of the 15 were crap spam about dumb shit. This must be the new spamming craze. Stoopid fuckers.

All spammers should be shot!

BTW: A big shout out to all those lovely people who have been visiting my blog and leaving legitimate comments... You guys rock!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Kinda bored and killing time...

I am very bored and killing time. I'm not used to being home on a Sunday night. Usually I'm off working a night shift or an evening shift at the very least. So I have decided to use my time productively (no, I'm not doing one of my 23,000 uni assignments that I have to do... that would be too productive for my delicate tastes). I am using my abundance of time to browse other peoples blogs that I have found through Michele's meet and greet. I also decided to use this time to post my most favourite Sunny Buick artwork in the whole wide world! The awesome painting below is Victorian Freakazoid Candy, and it totally rocks my world!

Being a nurse, I hear a lot of odd names for peoples private bits and I have decided to compile a bit of a list (or a list of bits) just to share some of the side busters with my audience.

The Golden List of Odd Private Part Names:

Girls bits: Noonie, Hoo hoo, Gi gi, Twiddletuft, Cha cha, Frontsie and Pussycat.

Boys bits: Widdle, Tail, Dilly and Doodle (a perennial favourite).

If anyone out there has any other favourites please feel free to leave a comment about them and I'll add them to the list.

Why can't the world face the fact that was so eloquently enunciated by a 5 year old in Kindergarten Cop, "Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." Stoopid euphemisms.

It might be a tumour...

And in the mornin' I'm making waffles!

I thought I'd use this opportunity to introduce everyone to Woddles the Waffle maker, by Sunbeam. Woddles makes very very cute little penguin shaped waffles that have a dent int their tummies to put ice cream and maple syrup in. Clairey gave me a Woddles for my birthday earlier this year.

I spent last night being very lazy (cos I wasn't feeling too crash hot) at Aimee's place, watching Bring It On and Little Nicky with Aimee and Lachie (Aimee's flatmate's brother) and making very tasty penguin shaped waffles for us to stuff ourselves with! I love my pingu waffles. They are so tasty!!!

Peeve of the week: When will people realise that it is never helpful to stand right in front of the train doors trying to get in while people are trying to get off the train. They do it with buses and elevators too!!! Will people ever realise that it is faster to go around someone rather than trying to tunnel through them? Dickheads!

Perve of the week: These two really, really, really hot guys at uni who always turn up when I'm out on a smoke break. Great arse... great arms... what more do you want? I love higher education!

Friday, August 26, 2005

I was busting my pants to see you. And I love you.

Today's title line was taken from the poem "The Muffins Got Stuck Today" by Australia's own over-opinionated son, John Laws.

Jenny-Jenny from uni bought "The Calendar Book", a book of 1970's poetry by John Laws, from a flea market for 50 cents! While some may argue that it was 50 cents too much, we found it to be a total bargain considering the hilarity that ensued even as we read it! Even the remarkably self serving spiel about John on the inside of the dust jacket was totally hilarious and quite obviously written by the man himself. With works of literary genius (please don't fail to note my sarcasm) such as "Drops of Love" and "The Muffins Got Stuck Today", the book is definitely one for the "let's get shitfaced and pee our pants laughing pile". Now I'm gonna have to head out and scour the second hand bookshops to try and find myself a copy, just for shits and giggles. It was the total highlight of my day so far!!!

"The muffins got stuck today.
I never know the difference between a muffin and a crumpet.
But the muffins would have got stuck anyway.
And I love you.

I ripped my jeans today.
Rips add character anyway.
I was busting my pants to see you.
And I love you."

That's all I can remember from the poem, but when I get a copy of it I'll post it on here to share the laughs.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

What an awesome weekend!!!

Here is my weekend in summary. I have summarised because I fear that if I say too much I will incriminate myself... and I just can't be fucked typing a long post today. (That said, now let's see how long this one gets.)
  1. Slept in past 8am on Saturday morning.
  2. Caught two trains to get to Cronulla, both of which were on time!!! (Not a mean feat for anyone familiar with "City Fail" and Sydney's public transport system.)
  3. Caught up with my boys, Hog and Jimmy, and it felt like no time had passed since we last saw each other 2 years ago. (Those are the kind of friendships that matter.)
  4. Only bought 4 drinks during the course of my "interesting" Saturday night. The boys bought the other 10 drinks that I had. AND they paid for the cabs!!!
  5. Nearly got into a barfight with a speedhead at the 28 Days gig, and spent an hour with Jimmy trying to stop me from decking the arsehole.
  6. Then had the tables turn when an all out brawl erupted between the speedhead and two security guards and I had to restrain Jimmy to stop him getting in on the action. (It's all class down south!)
  7. Partied on at Hogs place.
  8. Had a very pleasureable "sleeping" time due to some not-so-platonic spooning.
  9. Scored more cuddles and a lift home from Cronulla today before work!!!

Great weekend... awesome mates... very tired... need food.

Missing Clairey.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Ever so random...

The last 24 hours have been a complete and total shit... however, this morning there was a glimmer of hope.

I was in an extremely boring class this morning when I received a text message from a guy who I haven't heard from for more than 18 months! We once had a bit of a thing going but nothing really eventuated from it. For a while I kept in touch with his mate, "Hog", who is a top bloke, but despite the best intentions, we haven't caught up since I stopped heading down Cronulla way.

Anywho, out of the blue "Jimmy" messages me saying that he and Hog were talking about me and he thought he'd drop me a line to see how I'm doing, and next thing I know I have agreed to go down to Bizzo's at Caringbah with them on Saturday night to see 28 Days play.

Old friendships die hard. I'm actually quite excited to be seeing the boys!

And on top of all that, Hog has got himself engaged and he and his fiancee have a bubbie due in about a month!!! Totally crazy!!!

Let's hear it for random reunions!

Monday, August 15, 2005

Another interesting night shift...

I spent last night watching over a 45 year old male alcoholic with alcohol abuse related dementia. I had been told that he was really aggressive, rude and difficult but I found him to be rather charming, despite a lack of short term memory and some aggitation. He invited me to go to the theatre with him!! I declined of course. :o) It's really sad to see a handsome, charming, intelligent and educated man who has done so much irrepairable damage to himself through substance abuse.

I was hunting 'round the web the other day trying to find some info on one of my most favourite tattooists and artists, Sunny Buick. I fell in love with her work when I saw it in Tattoo Life magazine a couple of years ago and have had trouble finding much of her work anywhere. But while browsing the net I found the poster below, advertising one of her art shows in Paris which is open until the 21st August. Please feel free to donate money to me so that I can get to Paris in time to see Sunny's show. (Tell her she's dreamin'.)

On a final note... I have had to make a very hard decision today. You know when you just get sick of people's bullshit and you throw your hands up in the air in exasperation? I've just decided to toss in the towel to avoid more crap and lies. Let's see how walking away from something meaningful works for me!! People can stick their personal politics and opinions up their arses. Very fed up.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Road testing the new technology...

I have decided to have a little play and take the new Blogger Images service out for a test drive. Apparently I am able to upload images to my blog from my computer now without having to go through an image hosting service such as Hello. I sound like such a geek!!!

I found this pic of my sweet little Goth Gals by Misery. The first girl on the left is the one that was on my little badge that I lost. :o( I just fancied showing the world how cute they are! Might have to get myself the Goth Gals patch.

Sober in the cold light of day.

The bad, bad situation escalated last night after I had tucked myself into bed. I received a message from my potential bedmate asking what it was I wanted from him. Being significantly pissed at 3am led to me giving a broader answer than was wise and necessary and it all went downhill from there. Needless to say, I didn't get laid. "Crashed and burned, huh Mav?" :o( So much for my fall back plan.

I've got to re-evaluate the whole fall back plan. I may need to scrap the entire thing. For the second time this year I have found myself using a man as my little toy (in a psychological sense not a sexual sense cos I do that all the time). I play with them to get what I want, but if I don't get it I throw a strop and blame them for it. I might have to consider stopping that... but it's so much fun!

Need food... am very cranky that my dirty burger shop isn't open on a sunday for me to get my hangover burger. Crap crappity crap crap crap.

Once again, baby has done a bad, bad thing.

A little bit pissded and depressed that one of my best friend will be leaving the country within the week. Attended her farewell drinks this fair evening and realised that by the time she has gone and returned and I have gone and returned, we won't have seen each other for 6 months or so... It makes me sad. I am in the process of initiating my kidnap plan to stop Miss Bear from leaving me. Selfish I know, but too bad.

As for the bad, bad thing... This evening I contacted someone whose number I had deleted from my phone. I had resolved to sever contact with this individual due to the complex nature of our relationship, however tonights events only reinforce that complexity.
In my "hour of need" I sought someone with whom I am comfortable. Once again I recognised the value of having someone to come home to. And although I realise the value in finding these things outside of our unhealthy relationship, I once again turned to the easy option. Not a good thing. 3 weeks of hard work completely undone. Note to self: Alcohol undermines all good intentions. It would be nice to have someone to come home to though...

Must drink water... Mustn't mix wine with vodka.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

International Week of the Apologetic Ex

A very odd coincidence has occurred this week. Myself and about half a dozen other friends have all received phone calls this week from exes wanting to apologise for their past bad behaviour!

Why has this happened all at once? We can't work it out either, but have theorised that it may be due to some new international treaty designed to improve dumper / dumpee relations. It must have been signed in some far off foreign country, we just haven't got the memo yet. :o)

Therefore I hereby proclaim this week to be the International Week of the Apologetic Ex!

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Button, button, who's got the button?

I lost my little goth girl badge on friday!!! One minute it was on my pants where it usually is and then it was gone, no where to be found! They are made by a New Zealand clothing company called Illicit (designed by Misery) but when I checked their website I found that they no longer make, or stock, the Goth Gals badges. The closest they have are Misery's Melancholy Sisters, who are a similar style but not nearly as cute as my odd little Goth Gal. :o( Lots of other cool stuff for me to buy though when I have money and a credit card. Must have: the Goth Gals hoodie.

On another note, my attempt to improve my level of happiness by changing my attitude through the guidance of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, has suffered a serious set back today. It will take a lot of good thoughts and concentration to salvage what was, until today, a good week. However it can still be done if I keep using my "I'm glad I'm not..." statements. I'm glad I'm not a control freak. I feel like Pollyanna playing the glad game.
I am in the process of ridding my life of things and people that complicate it in bad ways. I will discard the thing that cause suffering and unhappiness, and accumulate the things that bring about happiness. I am feeling heaps better for it too. Apart from this evening, the last week or so has been really good.

I think my father is going deaf. I had to say hello 4 times when I got home this evening before I got a response and now the TV is so loud I can clearly hear it two rooms away. Isn't the parent supposed to complain about their children's loud music, instead of the other way around?
Time to go get ear plugs.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Purple monkey dishwasher.

Well it has been a most exciting week!!!

I worked my first shifts at my new job!! (And I'm working another 10 hour night shift tonight!)

I dallied in the interesting and wonderful world of Su Doku, so much so that I am now at the point of obsession withe those fantastically stimulating little number puzzles.

I bought some tasty new teas at T2. I am also at the point of obsession with this yummy yummy store. They stock awesome teas and the cutest teapots and cups. I have resolved to drink at least 4 cups of tea a day.

I discovered that I may be able to afford a 6 or 8ft Lovesac afterall, thanks to a friend of a friend who works at the store and gets a crazy 30% staff discount! And it has been brought to my attention that you get a free cover for each lovesac purchased... It's just a daggy brown one but it's a cover none the less... and I want a lovesac for the comfort factor not cos it looks cool! Lovesac, baby, lovesac.

I tried to supress my crazy nesting instinct that has kicked in in recent weeks and avoid buying homewares. Note to self: Must stop looking at the puppies in the pet store, as I am starting to associate furry animal babies with not so furry human babies, and am truly starting to believe that I want one of both varieties.

I have been seriously considering a career as a con-person and cheque forger after reading "Catch Me If You Can" by Frank W. Abagnale. Crazy, crazy story.

I finally went back to uni after 5 weeks of holidays! While the classes leave a little to be desired, it has been so much fun catching up with my peeps!! I forgot how funny my crazy nurse persons are!!! And I made Jen snort twice during the lecture on Friday!!! What a gold week!!!

WOOHOO for me!!!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Sleepless in Sydney...

I have just realised that out of the last 24 hours I have spent 18 working, 5 sleeping and 1 travelling to and from work. I right now I'm not amazingly tired (although my feet do feel like lead weights). Crazy!
Uni tomorrow. Yay!

If you have any poo, fling it now!

Well I survived one long, but easy, nightshift last night and returned home to wash my clothes, have a warm shower and grab a few hours sleep before I return to the hospital tis afternoon for another shift, evening this time.
I got home earlier than I expected and was showered and in bed just before 8 am.

Unfortunately, on my way home I noticed that in the street that runs behind my house (the one that my bedroom window faces on to) there was a group of council workers who were suspiciously looking like they were preparing to do work (god forbid!!!). As soon as the clock struck 8 they started up a jackhammer and decided to loudly reverse their truck.
I began to curse them wholeheartedly... and then promptly fell asleep. :o)

Time to go and get dressed and head back to work.