Tuesday, May 17, 2005

A response to Mr Complicated's comment.

I would like to quote from a message sent to me last week by you: "I don't want to fob you off as you were a great supporter of me getting to Costa Rica. Also you are a friend."

Maybe you need to treat your friends better! If something family oriented or inavaoidable comes up and forces me to change my plans I at least have the decency to call and explain the situation and organise another time to catch up. Just saying that you want to catch up doesn't cut the mustard. You need to show it. Actions speak louder than words.

I forgive you for messages (drunken and sober) at ungodly hours of the day or night. I have spent countless hours on the phone with you discussing your problems. I give a shit about you getting stuck on the other side of the world with no money. I am friendly towards you and I consider myself to be your friend. But it's all about reciprocity. I'm sick of being friends with people who like me only for what I can do for them or how I make them feel. I want my friends to care about me as much as I care about them and show some interest in what I do and where I go and give a shit about whether I am happy or not. I want nothing more than what you get. CONSIDER THIS.

If you can't bring yourself to be reciprocal and be a proper friend then, quite frankly, you can fuck off. I'm sick of giving my time to people who don't give a shit about me.

And as for denegrating you, I just call things as I see them. The ball's in your court.

There's only so much I can say. Right now I'm just going to give up and go and cry in my bed. I'm fucking sick of everything. And now it looks like I might get kicked out of my place. Fucking fantastic! I don't want to deal with arseholes anymore. Fuck it all! It just sucks dogs balls.

Monday, May 16, 2005


It really shits me when people make plans then double book you and try to cancel. Especially when they were the one to ask to meet up in the first place. If someone asks to spend time with me, and I oblige by making time for them, I expect them to make an effort to keep the meeting. I am sick of trying to fit people in at their convenience. I am far too obliging and I'm not going to do it anymore! If you want to spend time with me be prepared to do things on my terms because I'm sick of having my time stuffed around. It may not seem like it sometimes, but I do have my own life with things to do and people to see, and it's just damn rude to assume otherwise. So if I make time to meet with you please show me the same consideration and clear a space in your diary too.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Itsy bitsy, teeny weeny peanut babies.

Today I got to play in the special care nursery with the teeny premature babies. One of the sweet little boys was born about 6 weeks ago at 27 weeks (nearly 7 months) and he is so tiny!!!! His hands would fit on a 50 cent coin. I did feeds for another little boy who was also tiny, but not as tiny as the first one, and he was so beautiful snuggled up with me drinking from his little bottle. I understood then how easy it would be to fall in love with a baby, even if it wasn't biologically your own. All the bubbies were just so sweet. I just wanted to tuck the itsy bitsiest into my handbag (and believe me he would have fit) and take him home. Unfortunately most if the really tiny ones are still on tube feeding because the earlier they are born the less they know about sucking.

We also had 2 sets of twins in there today and another set was born today via c-section. So many babies!!! It's very exciting, and I am so happy to be there. But all good things must come to an end, and tomorrow will be my last day at this prac. :o( No more itsy bitsy babies for a while. I'll definitely be back though. I feel like this is what I want to do... maybe not for the rest of my life, but at least in the near future. I am way too clucky.

Next week will be childcare... yay for playtime!!!

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Playing in the cabbage patch.

Today I got to go down to the cabbage patch, and sure enough, there beneath a huge green cabbage was an itty bitty baby girl just waiting for a mummy and daddy...

Ok, maybe that's not quite accurate.

The reality was that today I got to go and watch a ceasarian section being performed! Let me tell you, the cabbage patch is much cleaner. :o) It was absolutely awesome to watch! Totally indescribable really. I must say though, that you couldn't pay me enough money to have a ceasarian unless it was absolutely necessary. It is just so traumatic for your body!!! After weeks of watching birthing videos and deciding that I'd rather adopt my little angels, I must say that I am coming around a little more to the idea of childbirth (in particular, relating to me personally) but a caesar is definitely out!!! And no babies anytime soon... I am quite content playing with everyone else's thanks.

Anywho, exhausted now... sleeping time.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Still here...

Contrary to popular opinion, I have not dropped off the face of the earth.

Instead I have been keeping myself busy with my practical placements for uni. I spent last week in the Neurovascular and Plastics ward at North Shore Private looking after people who had undergone various head and brain operations, nerve operations and plastic surgery. Lots of people with Parkinsons having neuro-stimulators put into their brains, and people with aneurysms and strokes. Very interesting, but I'm not too sure that area of acute care is really my cup of tea. I got to do my first injection though, and WOW it's weird sticking needles into real people rather than into foam blocks. My hands were shaking! Never ask a patient if it was as good for them as it was for you.

This week I am spending my time playing with itsy bitsy babies in the maternity ward, and it is certainly much more my style. All the babies look like little jelly beans with heads, all wrapped up in their little blankets. The oldest ones there (not including the ones who have been in the special care nursery) are about 5 or 6 days old and they are all very cute! I am seriously considering doing postgrad midwifery once I have finished my degree. I'm really enjoying my placement so far and it would certainly broaden my horizons and add another string to my bow! It also gives me more options for employment should I want to go and work overseas, not that there's a shortage of jobs for nurses anywhere in the world.

I'm also looking at going into paediatrics and developmental disabilities. I'll probably make those my majors for next year. So many options!!! It's all so exciting!!! My placement next week will be at a childcare centre (to study how children play apparently) which means I get to play with lots of toys, and I get to play in the sandpit, and I get nap time and snack time and story time!!! It's just too cool! Then the week after that will be spent at a group home for people with developmental disabilities somewhere up at Hornsby, which will hopefully be great! I will get to play with big special people!!!! I hope we get to go on outings!

So it's a very exciting month for me really!
Anywho... am very sick of all these early mornings and am desperately in need of a nap on the couch. Tata!