Thursday, September 08, 2005

I have new hair!

I spent three and a half hours (yes, 3.5 hours) at the hairdresser today! It wasn't supposed to take that long but after the first lots of foils when Ange was styling my hair she realised that she should have put more foils on top... so she did. (If you don't know what foils are then please ignore that last statement.) So now I have crimson red and copper blonde stripes (cos they are bigger than streaks) in my hair and I have a cool rock chick kinda short at the back, long at the front cut. And on top of that Ange straightened my hair, so today I have straight hair instead of my usual curls!!! It looks a bit like I'm wearing a wig. Weird, but cool! I'll post a photo when I get one... which will hopefully be tonight.

Today at uni, Jenny-Jenny passed the previously mentioned treasured copy of the Calendar Collection by Australia's own over opinionated, racist, sexist and homophobic son, John Laws. As promised I am posting the poem "The muffins got stuck today" in full.

The muffins got stuck today.

The muffins got stuck today
I never know the difference between muffins and crumpets
But they would have stuck anyway
And I love you.

My watch stopped today
And I didn't have five cents to ring up the man
And he might have been wrong anyway
And I love you.

I ripped my jeans today
Rips give character anyway
And I was busting my pants to see you
And I love you.

My heart stopped thinking today
It stopped at the thought
That you might want to know it that way.
If that is so let it quietly lay
As it cannot amount to anything
Any other way
Without you.
And I love you.

John Laws circa 1976

I would also like to post the bio from the inside of the dust jacket. It is quite obvioulsy penned by Johnny himself back in the 70's, and it is a wonderful example of how self-involved he was (and still is) and how seriously he takes himself. Please read it with a deep voice in a most over-emphatic and over-dramatised manner. I have popped in a bit of a commentary in red.

"The John Laws patter on radio is blunt, opinionated and witty (not to mention racist, sexist and homophobic). He talks with the confidence of a man used to being listened to - and with a deep and sensuous voice that has made him Australia's highest paid radio personality.
John Laws now enjoys all the trappings of success, including an elegant Sydney home, a fleet of cars, and the independence to do things his own way. This hasn't always been so. (Bring in the violins.) More than twenty years ago he found his way into radio through a friend of a friend after having become bored with the life of a jackaroo. With his new found talent he worked his way back to Sydney, got married and with everything apparently going for him, prepared to raise two children. Suddenly he was struck by polio. Then followed seven despairing months in hospital, a divorce, and unemployment. Heavy drinking added to this lonely crisis in his life. Slowly he worked his way back to health and to radio. He remarried and had three more children, then divorced and remarried again (as you do when you're a wanker who is impossible to live with).
His successes include television, theatre, movies (I cannot think of a single movie he has been in) and records. Encouraged (damn those idiots in the 60's) by the reception of songs he had composed, John Laws turned to poetry (the word poetry is being used in it's loosest possible sense) - and this is his fourth book of poems. (Believe it or not some dickhead was dumb enough to publish not just this one, but 3 others as well!)
John Laws likes motorcycles, casual clothes, and to roll his own cigarettes. But he is sensitive. So is his poetry."

I am going to have endless hours of fun with this book!!! It totally cracks me up!! Watch out for more "poems" being posted in the future.

Today's pic is for Mr Best - Don't you wag that finger at me in such a teacherly fashion. I know smoking is a dirty habit!

9 Comments:

At 12:57 am, Anonymous Nancy said...

I want to see a picture of your hair! It sounds so cool.

Nice to meet ya, Michele sent me.

 
At 1:54 am, Blogger utenzi said...

I dunno, Yaeli. As much as you like your haircut it's always dangerous to change perfection. I do look forward to seeing the new you however and am hoping for the best. LOL I do love drama though and you do make your new 'do sound very dramatic!

 
At 6:25 am, Blogger Chris Best said...

hehe that man is one screwed up lad!

 
At 11:24 am, Anonymous netchick said...

Great poem! :)

...Loved the sign too. Here on the westcoast of Canada, almost no one smokes, and certainly not indoors in a public place. Even the elderly in nursing homes have to go outside to light up!

 
At 4:32 pm, Blogger Yaeli said...

Hair photos are on their way!!! Yay!!!

 
At 4:51 pm, Blogger utenzi said...

New Hair!! and Muffins! How sweet can life get?

I can't wait to see the new 'do, Yaeli. Doesn't it suck that Michele's is so slow this time of the day?

Michele sent me but as you know, I find you irresistable anyway.

 
At 5:13 pm, Blogger -E said...

I am busting my pants to see you!

See a picture of your hair that is!

Michele sent me.

 
At 8:35 pm, Anonymous Melody said...

Urgh, doesn't John Laws irritate you? He is so far up himself, but I must admit that the poem was pretty good.

I got my hair only cut last night. I was going to get a colour too but decided that the bank wouldn't stretch that far this week as we have my daughters BIG 1st birthday bash this weekend.

I will be back (I think I have been here via Michele before!), so don't mind me as I have a lok around!

Cheers,
Have a great weekend.

 
At 8:56 pm, Blogger dena said...

I loved that sign. Luckily we don't smoke in office building anymore, but it wasn't that long ago that people spent the day smoking at their desks, in grocery stores and around shopping malls.

visiting from michele's this morning

 

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