Sunday, October 16, 2005

Don't tell me crap shoes is coming!

WARNING!!! DO NOT READ THIS POST WHILST EATING OR SHORTLY AFTER EATING. IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH, SKIP TO THE PICTURE OF THE POSSUM.

You may be asking yourselves "Why is Yaeli blogging at 4:45 in the morning?"

The short answer is "Because the dog shit in the house."

This picture is not of a real dog poo. It is a rubber one. So don't complain to me about it!


Before I went to bed last night I asked my house guests (Mr Craig and Miss Aimee and Miss Ali) to please close the hall door so that during the night the dog could not access the rest of the house, in particular the carpeted areas which she has developed a fondness for weeing and pooing on. I then went to bed in an attempt to stave off a brewing migrane, and I promptly fell into a rather deep sleep. So deep that I didn't even hear Mr Craig come to bed several hours later. (For those who raised their eyebrows at the last sentence, Mr Craig and I are only sharing sleeping space, there is no hankypanky going on.)

At about 3:45 this morning I woke with the realisation that I could hear the dogs collar clanking around, and 5 minutes later it dawned on me that I shouldn't be able to hear this at all as the dog was supposed to be confined to the back room. Cursing and swearing away, I threw back the doona and leapt out of bed (Mr Craig did not move) and stormed into the hall way to suss out what the dog was doing. Obviously, Miss Aimee had a similar idea and, upon hearing my stomping and cussing, she popped her head out of the spare and turned on the light.

At that very second I felt something squelch between my toes. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!!!!!!

After spending the next 20 minutes cleaning up dog shit and debating whether or not to wake up Craig, Aimee and I were far too jazzed to go back to bed. So we stomped around the house trying to wake Craig and we made our way out the front with our cigarettes in one hand and big glasses of Coca Cola in the other.

Aimee has decided that she is an all singing, all dancing, one woman show at 4:30 in the morning. She'll be here all week, be sure to try the veal.

Anywhoo, I am still too jazzed to go back to bed so I decided to blog instead.

Take a look at the picture below.

One of the cousins of this little fella (a ring-tailed possum, native to Australia) is the reason why the dog was inside last night. Since Thursday night I could hear something in my downpipe that runs off the guttering out the back. Because the downpipe is so small I very logically concluded that no possum would be able to fit in it and therefore the noisy thing inside must be either a myna bird or a rat (both are pests here hence why I wasn't too concerned with saving it).

By yesterday evening (Saturday) Mr Craig had become curious to find out exactly what was making all the noise in the drain pipe. So he detatched the bottom of the down pipe and managed to extract a reasonably sized, very dehydrated and exhausted ring-tailed possum. The Possum popped out head and arse first so his back got stuck in the small drain pipe, hence an extraction was required.

We put him in the biggest box we could find and gave him food and water and wrapped him up in towels and then left him to sleep it off in the garage. Figuring that the last thing the poor, stressed little thing needed was a nosy labrador around, I kept the dog inside to give Tallulah (not a very non-gender specific name, I know) a bit of rest and time to make a great escape if required.

See what happens when you do good stuff? All you get in return is dog shit!

I am going to spray my house again now because I can still smell the poo. Crap!

31 Comments:

At 6:37 am, Blogger Shaunta said...

HA! What a great blog. I really enjoyed it! I'll visit again.

Michele sent me :)

Shaunta

 
At 6:54 am, Blogger panthergirl said...

What a coincidence!!!! I JUST cleaned up dog shit from my carpet! We were out for a few hours and Kelso apparently had a diarrhea attack while we were gone. Delightful, I assure you.

He got stung by a bee this morning...I wonder if it was a reaction of some sort??

Anyway...I laughed out loud when I saw the dog shit picture, since it looked SO familiar... LOL

Here via michele today!

 
At 7:08 am, Blogger Carmi said...

A couple of weeks ago, my wife and I tossed around the idea of getting a dog. I think I'll have her read this entry as a disincentive to canine ownership.

Thanks for the advance warning. This was a funny post from someone who always makes readers laugh.

 
At 7:34 am, Blogger Samantha said...

Aww, poor little thing! I've got kittens, and let me assure you, a hairball between the toes is no better!

Michele sent me! :)

 
At 8:17 am, Anonymous Loving Heart said...

Oh yucky yucky morning poo in the toes. Ewww

Michele sent me and you're blogrolled.

 
At 8:19 am, Anonymous Ramona said...

Dog poo between the toes at 430am does not sound pleasant, I'd be ticked off too!
Cute little possum!
Here via Michele's, thanks for stopping by my blog today!

 
At 8:20 am, Anonymous Pearl said...

Naw, shit wasn't your reward. That was just a little bonus randomness from life. ;-)

The sweet little life that you saved was the reward. I'm glad you looked after the beastie and told us about it.

 
At 8:49 am, Blogger nobody said...

Ugh, yuck... My stupid dog ALWAYS craps in my room. Every time. Every stinking time. It's gone at least 3 times in my room. Stupid dog.

 
At 11:58 am, Blogger kenju said...

Sorry about the dod poop, Yaeli, I know how it feels to step in it......ICK!

So nice of you to save the possum. Michele sent me.

 
At 12:29 pm, Blogger IndyPindy said...

Oh, I am sorry that your dog poo pooed in the house and that you stepped in it. Bad guests! Michele sent me!

 
At 1:02 pm, Blogger Mrs. Darling said...

That's funny! It's funny because it happened to you. It wasnt so funny when we used to have a dog and it pooped all over the floor. But this entry was hilarious!

 
At 1:17 pm, Blogger Carol said...

I like the "ring-tailed possum, native to Australia." That is something I have never encountered.
Michele sent me.

 
At 1:47 pm, Blogger Chatty said...

Nothing is worse than squishy poo between one's toes. Especially in the middle of the night. Luckily, that's one thing my pooch has never done.

Michele sent me.

 
At 2:43 pm, Blogger jennypenny said...

Oh no! Dog crap is bad anytime but i think especially hard to take in the middle of the night. Reminds me why even though puppys are soo cute sometimes, I don't want one right now.. way too much responsibility. Same goes for kids i guess :) Here from Micheles. Good luck with the poop!

 
At 3:44 pm, Blogger Heather said...

I feel your pain. We have a new puppy and we have all stepped in dog poo at least once this week!

 
At 4:52 pm, Blogger FuzzBuck Fuzz said...

Thanks for the warning at the start of that post. Yes I have a weak stomach and yes I was eating. The possum was really cute though.
:D

Michele sent me.

 
At 5:30 pm, Blogger ribbiticus said...

hope you got it all. you wouldn't want to walk around your house only to realize there's still "undiscovered" crap somewhere. enjoy the rest of your weekend. here via michele today. :)

 
At 7:37 pm, Anonymous mar said...

oh, thanks for the warning. I already had breakfast!! Michele sent me.

 
At 8:17 pm, Anonymous netchick said...

wAwwwhk. Yuck. Sorry to hear about the shit. Shit, well, it happens :)

Thanks for sharing... Kinda.

..Tan

 
At 9:32 pm, Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

Oh Yaeli! Why is it that dog poo always smells worse once stepped in, too? You're a nurse, albeit a student nurse, which means you can automatically answer any question I have about chemistry, biology, pathology, physics or bottle-bongs... so why is it so?
(oops, Michele sent me)

 
At 9:58 pm, Blogger Jean-Luc Picard said...

Poor you! What a thing to happen at that time. I don't know how you slept afterwards.

Michele sent me this way.

 
At 10:21 pm, Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me to see you, Yaeli. As if I needed a reason!

I'm at my girlfriend's place this weekend and one of her dogs--a Westhighland Terrier--is quite old and incontinent. I've learned to be VERY careful where I step when I'm at her place. Ick!

I'm glad you had some company to liven up your weekend, Yaeli. See you later!

 
At 10:28 pm, Blogger Bec of the Ladies Lounge said...

I find it very spooky that not only do you and Utenzi play tag through Michele's, you also have dog incidents at the same time on opposite sides of the world...

 
At 1:02 am, Blogger Chris Best said...

hehe possums.... the squirrels here scare the crap out of me! I hope everything is going well yael.

 
At 1:54 am, Blogger Kevin said...

Dog crap is probably good for the skin. But I wouldn't expect to see it bottled on store shelves anytime soon.

 
At 3:12 am, Blogger choccycherry said...

Thanks for stopping by my site earlier today. Yuck - standing in doggie poop - it's not nice. At least you can laugh about it now!

 
At 1:42 pm, Blogger dena said...

At our house it tends to be dog throw up, which can be just as smelly and just as disgusting. Especially in the middle of the night.

 
At 3:25 pm, Blogger utenzi said...

*tag* You're it!

I don't know if kids play that game everywhere--if they don't, then that would be a very cryptic statement, Yaeli. Sorry!

 
At 7:06 pm, Blogger utenzi said...

Michele sent me to your blog yet again, beautiful Yaeli. This time I'm visiting a little lower down. *blush* I'm looking at a picture of a possum with a two foot dick. Amazing--the girl possums must be so impressed.

BTW, your shares have been increasing in value on Blogshares. You must be doing something right, Yaeli. You're up to 53 cents a share now.

 
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